Discrimination..!!

      Last night I was scrolling through Facebook and while doing this I read about Paula Deen a million times(Which I'll address a little later in my post) and then I came across a post that was so hateful that it hurt my heart. This "Christian" in one sentence stated he had respect for every human and then turned around and threw derogatory names at these people just because they didn't mold to his particular beliefs. I quote "Pansy same sex lovers" then goes on to restate he respects gays and will never be hateful?? Even going as far as saying he had gay friends...(Okay I'm sure you do) I reread this post a million times. He referred to the Bible and how the homosexual lifestyle is an abomination. I'm still trying to take this all in. I tend to forget these people still exist.
      I guess my question is?? Is he afraid that homosexual people have cooties and they might brush up against him and then he will be infected. Maybe it will be like the popular "Walking Dead" series and a gay person will walk right up to him and bite him.??? Then he too will be gay...slowly changing him as the venom works it's way through his veins. If the definition of marriage in his eyes is only between a man and woman then shouldn't his main goal be to only marry a woman??? His post was so warped to only pick and pull pieces of the Christian faith that helped him and leave out the pieces he found not fitting.
     If God himself is planning on visiting soon because of equal marriage rights then I need to have a serious talk with God. More important issues in life warrant his presence in society. Example...The slaying of innocent children, pedophiles that walk around taking pictures of our children while they are at a park, children in other countries that struggle to find food and clean water to feel their empty bellies...I could go on and on..!!! NO...We choose to be concerned with a definition to which you can define in your own life. This "marriage" word is not the only word that is defined differently throughout different households. I guess I don't have anything else to say and except thank you GOD for giving me the life I have and the experiences I have encountered to teach me that ignorance is the worst trait to have. Christians we should do a little less judging and a little more self-educating. A little less "scripture throwing" and a little more care and love for others. As we all like to say the big man upstairs will be our final judgment...So stop trying to do God's job. If your faith in him is so strong you should have full security in the fact that you to will be judged on the same platform.
    OKAY OKAY OKAY....Enough about that...PAULA DEEN PAULA DEEN...I don't know whether to say this poor woman is being chased down because the media enjoys the "witch-hunt" or to say that she deserves all of this because she is a racist. You know why I don't know what to say???? Because I don't know her...!!! None of us know her. Just because you eat her butter filled blueberry muffin doesn't mean she is your sweet ole' grandma. And just because she admits to using a racial slur in a time where circumstances where extremely different doesn't make her a racist. We have all said things in the past that do not define our overall character. HELL if that was the case all those time in high school when I said " You're retarded" is a summary of how I feel about that word today. IT MOST DEFINETLY IS NOT THE WAY I FEEL....I guess I'm trying to say I will not be swaying one way or the other because I personally do not know her. I honestly feel like she should stop apologizing over and over. As it may be genuine it now looks forced. Lay low Paula Deen...Go on a baking extravaganza. Go home bake a lot of muffins, cakes, cassaroles and etc. Load them up and take them to ppl in need. That would be a great contribution :)
        I think I'm trying to say...Live your life..love others and begin to understand that life is so much more than just you. When you do this you will find that the teachings from others will be the most valuable contribution in your life..!!! I know in my own life when I meet someone and understand them I grow and walk away with a new perspective I did not once have.

What NOT to say to a parent with a child that has special needs..!!

So I was attempting to look half decent today by doing my hair. While I was doing this my mind drifted. I began to think of all the comments I have received from strangers, families, and friends that are an attempt to understand having a  child with special needs. These comments are often said out off ignorance or curiosity.  Have you ever been in a room with a child that is drooling, running around, non-verbal, rocking, throwing themselves on the floor?? Do you prejudge?? Oh HELL,.. admit it..YOU DO!!!...You first look at the child and think " My child would never act like that"...Then after you realize this child may be disabled in some way you look at the mother/father and think "Poor thing". Its okay to admit this because I myself have done the same thing. Look at the mom and she looks as if she never stops and you wonder how she could be satisfied with a child that will never fit in. She smiles and claims her child is going to therapy and is improving. All you see is a child that is still way behind. That will do nothing in life but climb. Climb in the attempt to catch up. Well I am saying this not to make you feel like a horrible person. I say this because we all need to realize we prejudge. Here are some remarks that you should probably avoid.

1. "I'm so sorry"
PLEASE PLEASE do not apologize. I need no apology. I know you are just trying to let the parent know you have an emotion towards their situation. BUT this (in my case) always makes me feel like I am pitied. I cannot stand to feel like I need someone to feel "sorry" for me or my child. It is actually the last thing I want.

2. "He doesn't even look like he has Down Syndrome"
OKAY...So this has been said to me by many friends and family..lol..!!! I love you all but YES Gavin looks just like a lil Down Syndrome boy..!! I know it is said to down play his particular case or make me feel better but I've learned that I love that he has squinty eyes, a lil nose, short in stature....Rather than try to distance myself from having a child with Down Syndrome I have decided to embrace it.

3. "I understand"
Really>>.?? You understand?? lol...I guess this bugs me just because as some mothers are dealing with little things as "My child wont eat veggies" I'm dealing with..."My child struggles to talk, ends up in the hospital atleast once a year from asthma attacks...etc" So I guess sometime I envy the problems some mom's have. This can also just be to let parents know...Don't sweat the small stuff..!!

4. ".................." (This person is just staring)
My child is not a science project on display at some museum. He is a person that is living his life. When you stare at him I feel like you are scrutinizing his every move. It actuall hurts us as parents that you are looking down to our child that we love very much..!! I have found when you stare back at that person they usually feel it. Then as they look at me they think "Oh shit I need to stop staring".....Sometimes this is out of curiosity and I understand but instead of staring you should talk him or me...I love to brag about my child :)

5. "Retarded"
I used this word all the time as a kid. I never thought of a child with special needs when I would laugh and say "That is retarded" SO why can't I use it?? Well I look at it as I would never want Gavin to be called retarded and him question me as to why I use a word that hurts him. Soo..I choose not to use it..!!

6. "How long have you been clean??"
So I had to throw this on in there....I was actually asked this one time...hahahaa....ME..KAYLA PARKER...I was confused at first...This person thought I was on drugs and as a result I had a child with DS. HAHAHAa....Okay I don't think I have to explain this one...its just NOT OKAY..!!

There are many more that I could add but I'll stop...I hope you are not by this time bored with this post and your still reading because I do want to include what I love to get from other people. I love to help. I am an open book. If your curious please ask me. If you have a question ask me. I don't want my sons disability to be a silent elephant in the room. I love to speak about my son.

          My first blog.....!! Why do I want to blog?? I guess because I've always enjoyed writing. It is nice to sit down with a big cup of coffee and reflect on things you might otherwise brush to the side. Soo as much as I would love for people to read my blog I'm really doing it for myself. Ill start this blog off with what I'm passionate about. As any good mother I am passionate about my children. I have two beautiful boys to which I love to the moon and back. I also would like to mention my child in heaven. Paisley Arlene was born in 2007 and I was able to spend 3 months with her before she passed of SIDS. Sometimes my time with her seems like a dream. I'm passionate about being an advocate for children and adults with special needs. Gavin has taught me this. My older son having Down Syndrome has molded me into who I am today. Teaching me so much more about life and the true meaning of unconditional love. Since I have not mentioned Noah, my younger son, in depth I will(It would only be fair) He is an amazing little 3 year old that makes me laugh everyday. His curiosity for life reminds me of how great the world can be. I look forward to my boys growing and learning from one another. I love to write, I'm currently writing a book. I tend to stray away from it when my schedule gets busy but I always make my way back to it...Who knows maybe Ill be a BEST SELLER one day. I enjoy playing soccer and I enjoy going to school. YES I enjoy school. It is adult time for me. You get back what you give in and I apply myself 100% to school and I love the accomplishments I have made so far. I begin CSUSM in the fall. I also should mention that I have an amazing husband. He has taken on role of Dad for our two boys and supports me in every way. Well I'm pretty sure I've made my life sound AMAZING...Truth is I've dealt with just as many lows as I have highs...I tend to use the hand I was dealt and make the best of it.